Notice is quickly drawn to the dubious expenditure by the hyper-passionate and absurd arguments made in support of the ridiculous expenditure.

Government representatives, feeling the heat from the light of public scrutiny after nationwide news reports revealed the turtle tunnel details, have become as convincing as Johnny Cochran in their defense of the project.

Taxpayers are told, “If the tunnel fits, you must remit.”

Loosing obvious public support for the $3.4 million dollar tunnelbahn designed to insure safe passage for turtles and frogs from one lake to another, public safety is now threatening to push turtle safety out of the limelight as the main reason for the tunnel.

Without evidence of a single turtle caused automobile accident report, government representatives have become more creative than Star Trek conventioneers, by offering interesting anecdotal evidence of the potential dangers of unfettered turtle forays.

One government spokesman employed the use of shocking visual imagery to sway public support by suggesting that collisions with turtles could create flying projectiles that could come crashing through driver’s windshields.

Adding to turtle crossing folklore, a local county commissioner suggested the nightmare scenario that a driver could collide with a 40 pound turtle, creating in the reader’s mind, the same impact as hitting a Wyoming boulder.

Emboldened by official pronouncements describing driver impalement by turtle shells and collision impact with turtles the size of Wyoming boulders, “green” supporters have added additional animals that might choose to avail themselves of safe passage through the long dark tunnel, which will run under a four lane highway in the highly developed Florida capital.

Black bear and white tailed deer are said to be planning their “trip tic” through the passageway even though the entry point may detract from its appeal since it will be located next to a liquor store. Will the Sasquatch be added to the herd next?

No one doubts that the cars colliding with wildlife is a real problem around the country, but not at this location.

Very few people are against reasonable efforts to prevent innocent wildlife mortalities, but at what expense? Based on the hard evidence presented by the F.S.U. doctoral student twho spurred the dream for the turtle tunnel, the passageway would save approximately 2000 turtle fatalities per year. If the tunnel saved 100% of all turtle deaths, which no one thinks will happen, the cost per turtle life over 10 years is $340 per turtle.

Blind support for unreasonable projects only confirms what critics of government waste intuitively know in the pit of their conservative stomachs; do-gooders like to do a whole “lotta” good when they are using somebody else’s money. There is no end to the creative ways they can conjure up to spend it.